Reading about the boundaries in the title of the blog, you might have imagined a wall between you and your partner, haven’t you?
Well, if you have an image of a wall in your mind, you are right. When you are in a relationship, be it a love relationship or other relationships, you must have a defined set of boundaries. Those boundaries work like a virtual wall.
You must be imagining, why so? Well, it is a must because when you maintain healthy relationship boundaries, there are less chances of breaking up and patching up more often.
If your relationship lacks boundaries, it may create problems for both you and your partner and ultimately your relationship may have a tragic end.
If you understood the above-discussed things, then now is the time to know about healthy personal boundaries.
Also read: 5 Red Flags in a Relationship to Look Out For [For both Girls and Guys]
What are Healthy Personal Boundaries?
When you are ready to take the blame if you are at fault, and at the same time you don’t take the blame for your partner’s deeds then you are maintaining healthy personal boundaries.
However, if you always lower your self-esteem to pose yourself as a good lover by taking the blame for your partner’s deed then you are making him co-dependent.
This cycle will never stop as he will always try to seek your support whenever he does anything wrong. If you follow the same pattern, he is happy. If you don’t take responsibility and fight for your esteem, it may create issues.
It is never too late to take an initiative to ensure a good relationship and a bright future together. Define a set of rules and boundaries to maintain in your relationship by mutually agreeing to them.
Why Do We Need Setting Boundaries in a Relationship?
When you set healthy boundaries in your relationship, it helps you in strengthening your sense of identity and at the same time, it boosts your esteem. When you keep personal boundaries, it becomes a lot easier for you to efficiently maintain your relationship.
When you set boundaries:
- The other person can’t take advantage.
- You never have to take the blame on yourself.
- You don’t waste your time in pity arguments, and
- You don’t bother about the things your partner does.
Imagine a scenario when you didn’t think about setting boundaries.
Now, you will know the required boundaries to maintain in your relationship. Here you go!
7 Healthy Boundaries to Maintain in Your Relationship
Refusing to Take Blame
When you lower your self-esteem to apologise for a mistake that you haven’t done. You did this to make your partner feel better. Believe it or not, you have created codependency.
In the short run, it may solve your problems and sort out the issue but in the long run, it may create a lot of issues in your relationship, especially for you. You might be imagining, why so?
Well, your partner develops a habit of getting your support whenever he is at fault. Also, in future, if you don’t take his blame, you might end up getting accused of everything. You get a ton of accusations about past happenings and at that time you realise your biggest mistake.
It is not late yet! Define a boundary between yourself and your partner and don’t take his blame. Let him accept that and feel sorry. It is a necessity for a healthy relationship.
Saying No
Well, if you are in love with someone, you always refrain yourself from saying no. Why does this happen?
It happens because you want to impress your partner with your availability and your dedication to the relationship.
However, you might have heard, “An excess of everything is bad.” When you keep yourself affirmative to his every demand and requirement, you are again making him codependent.
Don’t do that. Instead, learn how to handle such situations. Define the boundaries and start saying No, if you feel that it is not really necessary.
Mutual Respect for Privacy
Nowadays, privacy has become a bone of contention between couples. Everyone wants personal privacy, and if someone tries to invade it, he may react ferociously.
So, it is always better to maintain privacy in your relationship. Try not to be nosey and concerned about the personal issues of your partner. Instead, give him his personal space and maintain your own privacy.
If he intentionally or unintentionally tries to violate your privacy, it is better to make everything clear in your relationship.
Having Different Opinions
Always agreeing to your partner’s demands and wishes doesn’t make you a good partner. If you want a healthy relationship, you should have your own opinions. Furthermore, it is imminent to respect each other’s opinions.
When you or your partner become habitual of agreeing to each other’s opinion, it is not a good sign for your relationship. In the future, if you have disagreements then there won’t be a possible way to resolve the issues.
If you and your partner disagree and provide valuable inputs and pieces of advice to each other, it is a good sign. However, if your partner forces you to stick to his opinions then it is really concerning. Setting a boundary of having your own personal opinion can solve this issue.
Setting Sexual Boundaries
You don’t have to agree to your partner’s request, to get physical every time. I know, some people do that to maintain peace in their relationship and others to make their partner happy. Whatever the reason may be, setting a sexual boundary is always good.
You need to set boundaries on how your partner should touch you, treat you in bed, and see you. I know, it may be weird to you but it is a necessity if you are concerned about your self-esteem.
Setting Financial Boundaries
Well! Well! Here comes the most important part. It happens that one partner always takes the financial burden and can’t even convey that to her partner. Because if her partner is sensible then he must have understood on his own.
If this happens to you that you have to pay for your partner’s pocket money and other kinds of stuff, it is time to reconsider your decision and let your partner become financially independent. Set some boundaries to make sure you both do not cross that. If your partner does that, then handle the situation accordingly.
Setting Emotional Boundaries
When you become so emotionally dependent on your partner, it becomes really impossible for you to take care of yourself when he is not around. In addition, when untoward circumstances come, you always seek a shoulder to cry on, most probably your partner’s.
However, it is not a good sign. You need to set emotional boundaries and limit yourself emotionally. If anything like your breakup happens in the future, it wouldn’t be tough for you to handle the situation.
Make your partner your emotional support but don’t be totally dependent on him.
Conclusion
To conclude, creating boundaries and limiting things are always great when you think about the future. However, when something goes off-limits then it may create so many problems for you. The same thing can happen in a relationship. In order to make that not happen to you, ensure that you have created healthy boundaries in your relationship.
Also, it is crucial to talk about this with your partner rather than setting your own boundaries without consulting him. Mutual understanding is a must in a relationship to sustain in the long run.
